Thursday, January 5, 2012
Are the voices in my head real?
Hi, before I go on I just need to say that these voices have only been appearing in my head for the past three years or so (started getting them around 2006). So here's what I have to say: In 2006 my parents split, my dad moved out, and my mum got with her new boyfriend who was a drunk and gambler. I never showed any emotions to anyone, it wasn't to make myself seem more manly but because I just didn't know how to. The arguments and insults and verbal abusing went on for the whole of 2006 and the majority of 2007 until me and my younger brother moved to my dad's place as my childhood home was being repossessed. It made me so angry and upset and on top of the anger i had bottled up inside already it didn't help. Then all my loving pets (2 cats, jack russell named milo and 4 guinea pigs) had to go which was sad obviously. THEN when i moved in with my dad things started getting better. However the anger continues to build because of my dad; he is this delusional man. what i mean is he seems to think that he can become a millionaire within the hour and spends so much money on internet businesses hoping and even believing that he will make "$40, 000 a month!!! buy now and make your living!!" and it's all a load of bullshit but he has spent over �50,000 on businesses which have collapsed in front of his face cause he is so gullible. i hate him so much for the stupid things he has done with money and is still doing! Anyway, the voices appeared in 2006 and they weren't doing or saying anything really, they just talked to me when i was alone or upset. They would just say things like "calm down" and now it has grown into something huge. Every time I get upset, angry, or when I'm even bored, they pop out and start either abusing me (calling me spotty due to me going through puberty, short *** as I'm not very tall, **** up, or useless cause I didn't p my GCSE's at school and I quit college, but i was experiencing a lot of stress at that time with mum's BF, parents splitting etc.) or they will just sit there. They know I know they're there if you get me, but they will just bother me but not say anything. And now, quite recently, they've started popping up at completely RANDOM times. When I'm having a job interview, when I'm talking to anyone, when I'm trying to work something out etc. they just come up and make me loose my concentration and that gets me angry then they start tormenting me about my looks etc. and so it goes on! I don't know if this is just me being silly or whether I'm depressed or what?!? I need advice about what to do, and no my dad doesn't know about this neither does my mum, or anyone actually. Every time I think I have got rid of the voices they seem to come back stronger than ever. I sometimes have trouble sleeping and I am currently not working or anything. For 4 months I have been sitting around in my bedroom feeling so scared to do anything with myself cause I feel I will just make the voices in my head worse. I did get a job for 2 weeks in december last year but no I'm in the same predicament as I was in. Help me, please.
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